Stations of the Fish

TRIGGER WARNING: My son F again. This time, he has decided to take off his IV of sarcasm, and has instead decided to inject himself with The Serum of Blasphemy. If you know my son, you should expect to mourn at his funeral, as he is probably about to be cremated by a divine fire. Or turned to salt, because God sometimes did that, too.

 

He claims that this makes sense if you know the Catholic Stations of the Cross, which he does since he went to a Catholic Elementary School.  We paid for this.   I guess we should be aware of what I’m buying, because this makes minimal sense to me.  Alas, caveat emptor.  And with that….

Stations of the Fish

1: The Consumer (S/he who is great and powerful and donates greatly to charities) decides on The Fish Fry (The Charity, that which is accepting of money in exchange for food).

2: The Consumer is led by (or betrayed by) signs pointing to The Fish Fry.

3: The Consumer is accosted for monetary funds by The Fish Fry.

4: The Consumer is denied immediate nourishment by The Fish Fry Attendants (those who worship The Consumer for the assets that They may hand out).

5: The Consumer is silently judged as a stranger in A Most Holy House.

6: The Consumer is welcomed, and given The Plate (that which conveys nourishment).

7: The Consumer takes up his Fish (Fried or Baked, it is the true Primary Consumption of The Consumer)

8: The Consumer is helped by The Fish Fry Attendant to decide between Baked Potato (That that is a whole potato, and sliced once) or French Fries (That that is a potato sliced and fried)

9: The Consumer meets The Women (Those with two X chromosomes) of The Fish Fry, as they help The Consumer decide between Coleslaw (The cabbage shredded and blended), Applesauce (An apple that is pureed and sweetened), or Mac & Cheese (Cooked flour and water  that is Cheesed).

10: The Consumer has taken his fill, and eats of it.

11: The Consumer promises his money to The Fish Fry next week, in exchange for more of The Fish.

12: The Consumer entrusts His Friends (Those that know and fear The Consumer, and trust His/Her guidance) and The Fish Fry to each other.

13: The Consumer dies as A Lutheran (That that is the religion of The Consumer), and is reborn as A Catholic (That that is the religion of The Fish Fry).

14: The Consumer returns to His/Her Home (That that is the residing place of The Consumer).

5th Friday of Lent: Part II.

5th Friday of Lent

St Matthias

F remarked with some relief that giving up on inciting religious genocide for Lent is going well, though the first two weeks were kind of hard.

This week our master blogger was trapped in Dayton, so she entrusted the dinner choice and keyboard to us and the three of us ventured out to St Matthias, 1566 Ferris Road on the north side of town.

St Matthias was the 13th apostle; chosen after Judas betrayed Jesus Christ. The remaining disciples needed to fill in the line-up. They narrowed down their choices between Joseph and Matthias and then they prayed about it, asking God to help them with the choice. Then the rolled some dice, God intervened and Matthias got called up to the majors. He is often depicted with an axe.

Matthias is the Patron saint of alcoholism, carpenters, small pox and tailors. In the US, he’s the patron of Gary, Indiana and Billings, Montana.

Depending on what you read, he died of old age, beheading or stoning and is buried in modern Day Georgia, Ethiopia or Jerusalem respectively.

But enough about history, right? You came for the review, didn’t you?

The Fry is actually served in the attached school gym. Once you get to the parking lot, signs are pretty easy to spot. The school must decorate for this time of year, for there were shoals of fishes tacked to the hallway corridors leading to the gym.

It seems they do a brisk carry out business. The first desk we came to had a line and a number of people waiting. This was for take-away.
If you’re staying for dinner, walk into the gym. Volunteer staff will seat you. Menus are at the table. Waitstaff take your order, tally up the money, give change and deliver your order. It seems like this would have a lot of people handling the money, but it seems to work for them. They also bus the tables and reset them, so they’re busy bunch.

The staff we spoke with didn’t seem to know what they were raising money for and whether it was for the school or the church. The lady next to us thought that it went to the General Fund, but she goes to a church down the road.

In addition to baked fish, which looked very good there are 3 options for fried fish. There is a 1 piece small or a 2 piece large, plus a 9 oz piece. (Largest?) The former were the same type of fish, uniformly triangular and seemed processed. The 9 oz piece was a nice piece of lightly breaded cod. We shared pieces around and all believed that the 9 oz piece was the best. F didn’t think there was any reason to order a Large dinner since a bigger, better fish dinner was just 50 cents more.

French fries were had by all, and they were bad. Probably the worst we’ve had all season. Dry and dusty; no amount of condiments could save them. Letting them get cold only made them worse.
Others around us raved about the baked potato. We should have tried one.

The coleslaw seemed tart and was not too well received. The apple sauce was cinnamon-ny and this was a plus.

Fruit punch and ice tea were included. Pepsi products were extra. Perhaps because St Matthias is the Patron of alcoholism, there was no beer or wine available at any cost.

I did try the clam chowder. It came highly recommended by our waitress, though she did admit that it was not homemade. I think that would be quite a feat to cook clam chowder for hundreds each week. Our table mates reported that they get it from GFS. It was not bad.

Maybe the highlight was the desserts. St. Matthias caters in pies from “Just Pies” in Worthington. These are circulated on carts, dim sum-fashion. Large wedges of pie are $2.25 which is the highest we’ve paid for desserts, but on a per calorie basis they’re probably competitive.

This event had lots of regulars. You could feel the sense of community in the familiar greetings and hugs amongst the diners. From a quality point of view though, this location was pretty average with the 9 oz. fish and the desserts being the high points.

There were pictures to go along with this entry, but I couldn't get them inserted with Blogger.com. Will work on that and try for next time.

See you next week!